Is my mum's memory loss normal? Signs to look for and what to do
Quick answer
Some forgetfulness is a normal part of ageing, such as occasionally misplacing things or forgetting a name. It’s more concerning if your mum or dad keeps forgetting recent events, repeats questions, gets lost in familiar places or struggles with everyday tasks. Encourage them to see their GP (family doctor) and offer to go with them.
Often it’s a son or daughter who first notices that something has changed. A repeated story, a missed birthday, an unpaid bill. It’s hard to know whether it’s just getting older or something more.
What is usually part of normal ageing
- Occasionally forgetting a name or an appointment, then remembering later
- Misplacing glasses or keys and finding them by retracing steps
- Taking a bit longer to learn something new or make a decision
- Briefly forgetting what day it is
Signs that need checking
Dementia is not a normal part of ageing. The Alzheimer’s Society and National Health Service (NHS) list signs that are worth raising with a GP, especially if they are getting worse over several months:
- Forgetting things they’ve just been told, or asking the same question repeatedly
- Putting things in unusual places, such as keys in the fridge
- Struggling with familiar tasks, such as cooking a regular meal, using the phone or paying bills
- Difficulty finding words or following a conversation
- Getting lost in familiar places or confused about time
- Withdrawing from friends and hobbies, low mood, anxiety or being easily upset
Not every change means dementia. Infections, medicines, low mood, hearing problems, poor sleep and low vitamin levels can all affect memory, and many of these can be treated.
How to raise it gently
- Choose a calm moment, somewhere familiar, and avoid times when they’re tired
- Talk about specific changes you’ve seen and how you feel, rather than giving a label
- Explain that many causes of memory problems are treatable, so it’s worth checking
- Suggest a general health check if “memory” feels too difficult to mention
- Be patient: it may take more than one conversation
What to do next
- Write down what you’ve noticed, with dates and examples.
- Encourage a GP appointment and offer to go along. With your parent’s consent, you can share what you’ve seen.
- Look after yourself too. Alzheimer Scotland’s 24-hour Dementia Helpline (0808 808 3000) supports families as well as people with memory problems.
Our free brain health check can help you think through the changes you’ve seen before speaking to a GP, and our care suggestions page has practical tips for families.
Common questions
What are the first signs of dementia in a parent?
Early signs can include forgetting recent events, repeating questions, struggling with familiar tasks, difficulty finding words, getting confused about time or place, and changes in mood or withdrawing from activities.
How do I get my mum to see a doctor about her memory?
Pick a calm moment, mention specific changes you've noticed, explain that many causes are treatable and offer to go with her. Suggesting a general health check can feel less threatening.
Can a urine infection cause sudden memory loss in older people?
Yes. Infections, including urine infections, can cause sudden confusion in older people. Sudden changes need prompt medical advice, so contact the GP or NHS 24 on 111.
Sources
- Alzheimer's Society. Do I have dementia? Signs and symptoms. www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/worried-about-memory-problems/do-i-have-dementia-signs
- NHS. Symptoms of dementia. www.nhs.uk/conditions/dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/symptoms
- NHS. Memory loss (amnesia). www.nhs.uk/conditions/memory-loss-amnesia
- NHS. Tests for diagnosing dementia. www.nhs.uk/conditions/dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/tests
- Alzheimer Scotland. Newly diagnosed. www.alzscot.org/what-is-dementia/newly-diagnosed
This article is for general information and isn’t a substitute for personal medical advice. Please speak to your GP or a qualified practitioner before making changes to medication or treatment.